just some candid cammy shots...

happy birthday, mommy and papa

it was our birthday yesterday... we went out for lunch at MOF... compliments of justin =) i had a great time with my family... even though we couldn't go much places coz ky was with us and she was restless yesterday, but i'm glad i have the emotional and spiritual support of ma and ju...

"all mothers go through this", they say... but how did they get over it??? ju says there are different difficulties at every age, every stage... i guess i gotta bite the bullet and have patience with her...

happy birthday, papa... a year older... a year wiser...

now it's kyria vs mommy

it's been a struggle coping with her... most of the time, she fights to sleep... that's the most difficult part coz she can't be without her pacifier... and she takes forever to knock off deep into slumberland...

MIL just remarked yesterday that she's kinda tough to handle coz she fusses a lot... i wonder if it's still a good idea after all... to continue to let her look after ky... weekdays now, i'm at ju's place, so that there is a helping hand around, but i know somehow, i gotta try and do this alone too...

i'm tired... physically, mentally and spiritually...

lord, please grant us rest... in our bodies, hearts and minds...

a month old me...

^ pix1: cupcakes

^ pix2: with ah yee

ky turned a month old yesterday... we had a little party for her... i did everything but take photos... but i was just too burnt out from the night before...

the party turned out well... i'm thankful for friends and loved ones who have stood and will always stand by us in good times and bad...

a better mommy...

last saturday was our first night alone with kyria... it was also the first time i broke down because i felt helpless... after i fed ky in the night, she kept crying non-stop for half and hour... from the time papa went to buy dinner till he came back... durng that time, i didn't know what to do... i just kept carrying her in my arms but her heart-wrenching cries just broke me... and i shouted at her... becuase i was frustrated... because i was clueless and most of all, helpless... she cried louder, and i cried harder...

it took a second feed to calm her down... but not my nerves... i was shoken from this experience, and i never want to hear my child cry like this again... i want to know what i can do for her, anything and everything...

papa and i also talked about the mental and emotional stress i had been going through the past one month between MIL and me... i felt very relieved that he understood and acknowledged what i was going through, and he assured me that even if he doesn't approach me there and then, it doesn't mean he isn't aware of what is going on and how i was feeling...

last night, for the first time, i felt thankful and also relieved that i was able to let go and accept help... perhaps i had been too bias of her and over-protective of my daughter, i wasn't able to see MIL's good side... all this while, she has been standing by me, trying to offer her hand whenever i needed it, but i just couldn't see it... was she the answer to my prayers? i guess God just wanted me to trust in his judgement... there are still certain things that i am not comfortable about, because of MIL's traditional beliefs... other than that, i believe things should be able to work out like before...

kyria's day out

^ pix1: @ vivo city... with nanny, aunty yujing & mommy

^ pix2: @ vivo city, looking at M&Ms

^ pix3: @ causeway point in the parents' room

yesterday, we brought kyria out for her first day out... we went for check up in the morning, and then went to the office to give out the cake vouchers to my colleagues who have given me 'red packet' for kyria's arrival... then we went to MIL's place to pay respects to the ancestors...

later in the night, because it was nanny's last night with us, we went to vivo city for a walk... kyria was enjoying herself, perhaps because it was in an air-conditioned place, and there're lots of lights... she particularly enjoyed the car-rides from morning till night... i guess all babies do...

today, we sent nanny to the checkpoint at woodlands, and papa decided to take a walk at causeway point... kyria was pretty much well behaved... only having to feed her once and change her diapers twice... i'm surprised and happy at the consideration, convenience and cleanliness of the parents' room that is found on every floor near the washroom... they provide 2 private cubicles for breastfeeding moms and 2 changing counters and some chairs for comfort... the level we were at (2nd), there was this lady from Nestle who was standing near the entrance giving out cereal samples to moms who have babies 6 months and above... for younger ones, she gave a recipe pamphlet on what to feed babies from stage 1-4. i'm not sure if the malls under feaser centrepoint are the only ones with this facility but i really wish that all, if not the major shopping malls would follow such example (oh man... i sound like a walking advertisement... hee hee)... we'll see on our next trip out =)

kudos to mommy... burp~..........zzzzz~

^ pix1

^ pix2

i managed to snap this picture (pix1) of her after she was fed... yup... a well-fed baby is a damn happy baby...

and like mommy... nothing beats a good sleep like a heavy tummy...

kyria's cover look

^ thumb vs pacifier... see which one my daughter chose... with an attitude

^ her coy look

^ yup... pacifier fashionista

ky's classy paci(fier) look

^ pix1

^ pix2

^ pix3

this is kyria's look everytime i carry her with her pacifier... she looks up at me and gives me that blur look... then i'd kiss her on her pacificer and she'd look away (pix1 & 2)... and then she'd give me this look again (pix3)... and then i'll melt...

dun mess with me...

woo... kyria's learnt the universal language that everyone's familiar with... heh heh... this was a cute candid picture taken by daddy after we changed her diapers... was she trying to tell us something? =)

shit!!! i've been shat!!!

yup... my little girl splattered her shit on me while i was changing her diapers this morning... damnz... she 'tricked' me! =) i thought she was done with her business and when i was cleaning her ass... S.P.L.A.T... right on my shorts...

i succumb to it...

to the power of the pacifier, i mean =) i don't much of a choice... i recently realised that sometimes she uses my breasts for comfort suckling... she can be feeding on and off for 2-3 hours and she'd still fuss... i thought i wasn't giving her enough milk... and she wouldn't sleep even after suckling for hours, even at night... then nanny said that perhaps, she just wants the security of the breasts to go to sleep... perhaps this will be a better way once nanny leaves, and if i'm gonna be alone at home with ky...

i hope she won't depend so much on the paci... i'll do a trial test for a while... pull it out when she's deep into slumber... nanny says she's very good with it coz she suckles on the paci pretty hard... we tried pulling it out but her suction power is pretty strong... and for double protection against us, she places her hands over her face =)